It’s Cold Outside

Why aren't you two cuddling to stay warm? Do you like being cold?

I hadn't seen Bob for years and as he approached all I could think about was giving him a big hug. It sent my mind rushing back to a time when I'd have rather shivered to death then cuddle another man. His name was Dan and we were on a training mission as USAF survival instructor wannabes. We had endured days evading would be captors only to find ourselves treated like dirt once we entered a protective underground network.

It was about 6 AM and the cold frost covered the ground. Within seconds of making contact, we were forced to the ground. "Wait here, I'll be back for you in a minute." That minute seemed like hours. Our clothes consisted of undergarments and a shirt and pants. It wasn't long before I started to shiver. Dang, I thought, I should have just kept hiding. I tried to control my body but I couldn't. When our helping 'friend' returned he saw us laying there, shaking with teeth chattering. He kicked me and said, "what, are you stupid? Why aren't you two cuddling to stay warm?" "Do you like being cold?"

I had overcome food aversions by eating slugs; gone days without sleep and still met my needs; and learned to survive without food for a week or more. Could I overcome my aversions about hugging another man? After all it might save my life. With great hesitation, I slid over to Dan and spooned him wrapping my arms tightly around his chest. I snickered and said, "we need to keep this to ourselves" and "I sure am glad I'm the back side of the spoon." Like it mattered. Although I was still shivering, our bodies radiant heat helped take the edge off. It wasn't so bad. I felt good about my decision and wondered why I needed someone's ridicule to do this.

The rest of training, although eventful, did not require me to make such sacrifices. When I returned home, I made fun of what I had to do. Why? Was it my immaturity? Was I homophobic? Was it the macho atmosphere I spent so much time in? It has been almost 20 years since that happened. I am happily married and have several children. When I look back on it I realize that my behavior was ridiculous. Neanderthal. Wait a minute. Would a Neanderthal have a problem cuddling another man to keep warm? I doubt it. They probably had the common sense to do whatever it took to stay warm.

As I hugged Bob, I felt good about it. I was glad that I could hug my friend and show him how important he was to me. Hugging was a big step for two old has been macho survival instructors and although I doubted that Bob and I would ever spoon one another, the embrace felt good. After several seconds, we broke away and began to talk. It was great seeing Bob and the hug made me feel warm inside just like it had with Dan on that cold morning 20 years before.